I can really only think of one way in which it would be feasible to lose a wheelchair.
Perhaps if I were a brand new candy striper volunteering at a hospital, and perhaps if I were tasked with moving all of the wheelchairs on site to, oh say, a giant wheelchair closet or parking lot, then perhaps it would be feasible to lose a wheelchair.
But I am not a candy striper on volunteer assignment, and the one wheelchair I am responsible for is the one my son needs for his very own mobility. And so how does one lose a wheelchair? It’s not easy, folks. Sometimes I impress my very own self.
In my measly defense, we left the wheelchair at Dart Warz on Friday after Tyler’s birthday party, at which we celebrated the fact that he turned eight more than two months ago. But don’t judge. You do it when you do it, and his future therapist can bill me for the hours devoted to any birthday mishaps.
Dart Warz is this great indoor field of Nerf throwdown, and all ten little boys played for 90 minutes straight with the ferocity of true warriors. There was great intensity and sweat. I took Tucker’s wheelchair and his knee scooter, empowering him to choose how he would like to navigate the war zone, but never imagining he would choose to crawl on his knees in Nerf gun warfare.
(I don’t know how much someone would have to pay me to crawl around for 90 minutes while people shot at me for fun.) (And I don’t even need to add a cast on my leg to know their isn’t a price tag on this experience.)
Sidenote: Dart Warz is a most brilliant birthday party location. And since the party plan also included a party hostess who did everything for me, including to load up all of the presents (and leftover cake and pizza and excessive birthday paraphernalia) and get us on out the door in record time (which is how I inadvertently left the wheelchair behind, since Tuck used the scooter to get to the car and I wasn’t alerted to a vehicle left behind since there was nobody to drag or carry and so I thought we had everything), we will most assuredly be going back.
I may suggest the boys have their wedding rehearsal dinners at Dart Warz. Such is my affection for the all-inclusive package.
Anyway, I lost a wheelchair today. It’s now recovered and in our possession. I think. Actually, I just realized it’s at my parents’ house now. I might have a problem.
The good news is I have a great truth for the game “Two Truths and a Lie.” The bad news is you could likely take me down in a game of “I Have Never.”